What if? That’s a quandry

“Turn a different corner and we never would have met.”~George Michael, musician, “A Different Corner”

I wrote that line to a far-away friend many, many years ago in a letter. I told her about my close, local friend who was so much like me. We struggled in our New Jersey lives. We traveled hours to get to a restaurant we both liked. I was in her wedding. I was lucky to have found her, I wrote.

One week later, I discovered that this close friend of mine was having an affair with my on-again-off-again-on-again ex-boyfriend.

Yep, we both had the same interests.

As I continue writing my father’s memoir, and editing the above chapter, I wonder about this. What if we had not moved into the same apartment complex on the same day? What if I had never introduced my then-boyfriend to her (and her husband)? What would my life be like today? **Spoiler alert!** Some things are out of my control: my dad would still have died, as would mom. Tornados, earthquakes and snowstorms would have continued. 9/11 probably would have still happened.

What if? A good question, and the recent subject of Tim Franklin’s blog post over at Deadwood Writers Voices.  A more lighthearted look at what ifs is over at Overcoming Bloggers Block . Both posts make you think, and maybe that’s why I’m focusing on that question so much these days.

What if I had followed up of that film job offer years ago? What if chose to accept that full scholarship at a different college rather than graduate Penn State University? What if I continued dating any of my former boyfriends rather than the man I married? What if I had left that…challenging…job a few years back earlier than I did? What if I had turned a different corner?

Diva Challenge #161: in a Quandry

Diva Challenge #161: in a Quandry

I don’t know, and I do not want to know. I am happy with my life today. Without those choices, my values might not be as strong. I would never have been introduced to Zentangle. I would not have had the writing experiences, awards and connections I have. I would not know the man I have today, the perfect blend of the best from all of those ex-boyfriends. I would not be scrapbooking, or certainly not the events and friends I have now. You would not be reading this blog because I would never have written it.

Might my life be “better” than the one I have now? Define “better”: richer? more friends? city living? country living? high-profile job? non-profit job? Might my life be “worse?” Define worse: poorer? by myself? city living? country living? That’s the quandary we face in life.

I am curious, but only as a passing thought. I have no regrets, save the one that happened at the very end of my dad’s life. I am lucky in that respect, that I have lived my life to a point that I can willingly accept everything I have done. That I, like Zentangle states, take ownership for each decision I make and every choice I have made, and work to my best solution from that.

Do you feel the same way? What if you had no regrets?


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. simon bushby
    Apr 04, 2014 @ 07:05:31

    very nice , I’m still confused about it but i had my try but yours is great


  2. LonettA
    Apr 04, 2014 @ 08:46:26

    Just a pretty tile! Especially I like the way Quandary goes to Pokeleaf!


  3. Jean Chaney
    Apr 04, 2014 @ 19:00:13

    Your Quandary turned out quit well. I agree totally with everything you’ve said. One foot in front of the other always going forward, never backward.


    • dwhirsch
      Apr 05, 2014 @ 21:07:01

      Thank you, Jean. Forward is the only way to go, but sometimes people get hung up looking behind themselves. Glad you’re keeping your eyes ahead to the future.


  4. Annemarie
    Apr 05, 2014 @ 03:21:25

    I like your tile a lot. Your post makes me think of my life, my ‘what if’ s. When my husband and I met (on line) there were so many ‘what if’s. I know for sure I have no regrets, because you can only make a decision on the point you are at that moment and with the wisdom of that moment. That’s what a wise person told me long ago.


    • dwhirsch
      Apr 05, 2014 @ 21:00:12

      Thank you, Annemarie. It’s a great thing that you feel confident and strong with the choices you’ve made. Good for you!


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